I’l erase your day
Kristen AshleyTags: sweet
“Fuck! ” I shouted and everyone at the espresso counter looked over at us. “Half a million dollars?” Lee dropped his foot and turned to me. “Roxie, calm down.”
“Half a million dollars and he bought me cheese puffs and took me to that sleaze bag motel? I’m gonna fucking kill that motherfucker!” I yelled.
“Roxie –”
I slammed my fists on my knees. “The least he could have done was bind my wrists with VELVET ROPE. He sure could have afforded it. Stupid jerk.
Tags: funny
I’m an idiot. I’m ten times an idiot. God, I could just die.” Then I forged ahead because the last comment was too close for comfort these days. “Not die die, as in not-breathing die, but die figuratively, if you know what I mean.” Lee was grinning.
Kristen AshleyTags: funny
These boys need women who can take the heat without meltin’ like butter, and sometimes that heat is fiery. They need women who can give back their shit so they don’t walk all over ‘em and get bored out of their fucking skulls. And they need women who can go soft when the situation demands because they get hard knocks on a regular basis, sometimes literal y, and comin’ home to somethin’ soft is the only way to cope.
Kristen AshleyTags: funny
That’s what love’s all about, Roxanne. You
love someone, you trust them always to tel
you the truth.
Tags: funny
You can’t tel me I’m not breaking up with you when I’m breaking up with you!
Kristen AshleyTags: funny
Hank wants to have a conversation tonight. We had a conversation last night! I can’t have another conversation! He’l say shit that freaks me out because he’s, like, in my brain. We haven’t even known each other for two weeks! How can he be in my brain? It’s unreal ..
Kristen AshleyTags: funny
Sweet Jesus! Sweet, sweet Jesus!” Mom called to the Savior, caught up in the divine intervention that was Hank and me.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Stop cal ing Jesus, Mom. Hank’s gonna think you’re weird,” I snapped.
“She is weird,” Dad said.
“I’m not weird,” Mom returned.
Tags: funny
I wil not calm down. My baby girl is moving halfway across the country.”
“She’s been moved away before,” Dad pointed out.
“Yeah, but that was with Billy. We all knew he wouldn’t work out. We’re talking about Hank here. Look at him,” she pointed to Hank.
“She’s never coming home. Never.
Tags: funny
I feel like I’ve been waiting,” I said to Billy, looking at Hank. “Waiting for a long time, but I guess I know what you mean. My life began when I met him.
Kristen AshleyTags: sweet
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