In the distance I see a lighthouse. The light washes over us and continues on its rotation. This time, I don't know where the light will guide us.

Lauren DeStefano


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I used to have only one name; it used to mean something.

Lauren DeStefano


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I've done it all before, I tell myself, and I can do it again. Trust is the strongest weapon.

Lauren DeStefano


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I lost everyone I loved," I tell him. I wait for him to look at me, and then I add, "The day I met you.

Lauren DeStefano


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Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.

Lauren DeStefano


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Don't you miss it?" I say. "Being free."
He laughs.

Lauren DeStefano

Tags: freedom hope



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It doesn't matter how much his mother loves him; love is not enough to keep any of us alive.

Lauren DeStefano

Tags: love wither death



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And then I wonder, does my brother think of me this way? We entered this world together, one after the other, beats in a pulse. But I will be first to leave it. That's what I've been promised. When we were children, did he dare to imagine an empty space beside him where I then stood giggling, blowing soap bubbles through my fingers?

When I die, will he be sorry that he loved me? Sorry that we were twins?

Maybe he already is.

Lauren DeStefano

Tags: fever lauren-destefano chemical-garden-trilogy



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I should not have loved my daughter as I did. Not in this world in which nothing lives for long. You children are flies. You are roses. You multiply and die.

Lauren DeStefano

Tags: fever lauren-destefano chemical-garden-trilogy



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He kissed back, all the pages spread out around us like riddles waiting to be solved. Let them wait. Let my genes unravel, my hinges come loose. If my fate rests in the hands of a madman, let death come and bring its worse. I'll take the ruined craters of laboratories, the dead trees, this city with ashes in the oxygen, if it means freedom. I'd sooner die here than live a hundred years with wires in my veins.

Lauren DeStefano

Tags: wither fever chemical-garden-trilogy



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