What we share as introverts is the love of ideas and the desire to explore them with minimal interruption. We want and need input, but we’d rather get it through reading, research, and rich conversation than through unfiltered talk.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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In “America the extroverted,” relationships are good, and even if they are very bad, they are better than no relationship. Introverts don’t think this way. Many of us want and have great relationships, but we generally prefer “no relationship” to a bad one. Quality matters. We conserve our relationship resources, because we know they are limited.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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...ultimately I found my community by pursuing what I loved: writing, acting, art, coffeehouses.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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For introverts, the best associations start with ideas. If you don’t feel a part of your neighborhood association or the happy hour regulars after work, don’t force it. The community that surrounds you may not be your community.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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When an introvert cares about someone, she also wants contact, not so much to keep up with the events of the other person’s life, but to keep up with what’s inside: the evolution of ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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...efforts to make work fun only annoy most of us, especially the introvert.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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I talk with many Shadow Dwellers who are mystified by the fact that chatty workers are rarely reprimanded. Sit and gossip and you are fun; close the door (if you have one) and you are antisocial.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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Most of us have had the experience of creating beauty, whether by cleaning a room, planting a bed of flowers or hanging a painting. Our first impulse is to say, “Come and see! Look what I did!” Though it may be a long time since mom or dad came to see, we still have the need to share—to be seen, acknowledged, appreciated. But it’s more than approval we seek; we want to extend the joy. We want someone to help us make it more real, to linger with us in the warmth.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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A good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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Introverts tend to internalize problems. In other words, we place the source of problems within and blame ourselves. Though introverts may also externalize and see others as the problem, it’s more convenient to keep the problem “in house.” Internalizers tend to be reliable and responsible, but we can also be very hard on ourselves.

Laurie A. Helgoe

Tags: introversion



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