No need to worry. The closest I've ever come to an STD was a kidney infection. I always put a raincoat on the little fella before heading into a storm.

L.H. Cosway


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I want to ruin you Freda, in the best way possible.

L.H. Cosway


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I like the him that's underneath the clothes and the painted face.

L.H. Cosway


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You'll always be my friend, won't you Fred? Don't let me fuck this up. I need you in my life now. I need the golden eyed girl who can make me smile.

L.H. Cosway

Tags: nicholas



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You've got a wonderful way with words, disgusting but wonderful.

L.H. Cosway


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We all paint on a face to show the world," Nicholas replies philosophically. "For some of us, that's quite literal.

L.H. Cosway


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Nicholas is gay, isn't he," she says, her voice dripping with dejection.

I shrug, again remembering his proposition from last night. "Not necessarily. The jury's still out. There's hope for a Christmas wedding yet," I tell her.

L.H. Cosway

Tags: sarcasm-humor



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I belong to you. I've belonged to you since the beginning, since before I even knew that I did," he rambles. "I'll never hurt you again. I'd rather die than to hurt you

L.H. Cosway


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You need a job and I need a PA, why don’t you come and work for me?”
“No thanks, God knows what being your PA would involve.”
He laughs. “Well it would involve the usual, faxing, filing, answering the phones, taking
bookings, relieving my sexual needs, etcetera.”
“Yeah I thought as much.” I tell him, my tone doing all the rejecting for me.
“Seriously though, the offer stands. Think it over.” He tells me in a soft voice.
“I don’t have PA experience.”
“I’ll teach you,” he says, in a tone that insinuates other things.
“Sure.”
He lowers his voice. “I think I’d enjoy teaching you things.”
“Can’t say I w-would enjoy it.” Yeah, right.
“You stuttered,” he says

L.H. Cosway

Tags: funny pervy



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Will you promise to keep this to yourself, to not tell anyone of what we are?” By his words you’d think he was giving me a choice. Like I could say,no deal, honey bunch, I’m off to shout your secret from the rooftops, and he’d be like, oh no please don’t do that. In
reality, he’d have to kill me.

L.H. Cosway

Tags: secrets supernatural funny-humor



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