If the feeling is there, you might as
well admit it. Saying the words, or not saying
them, doesn't change a damn thing
Both of us were quiet with the recognition that something was ending, and something was beginning.
Lisa KleypasHow much do you have in common with
this guy?"
"Not much. Basically we're polar opposites.
But do you want to know the main attraction,
the weird part? . . . It's the talking."
"Talking about what?"
"About anything," I said earnestly. "We
get started and it's like sex, this back-andforth,
and we're both so there, do you know
what I mean? We rattle each other. And
some conversations seem to be happening on
a few different levels at once. But even when
we're disagreeing on something, there's a
weird kind of harmony in it. A connection.
To be honest," I halfwhispered,
"I don't feel as safe with him as I
do with you."
"I know."
A ghost of a smile touched my lips. "How
do you know?"
"Think about what safety is, Ella."
"Trust?"
"Yes, partly. But also an absence of risk."
He unstuck a strand of hair from my damp
cheek and tucked it back. "Maybe you need
to take a risk. Maybe you need to be with
someone who rattles you a little.
Wow," I remarked to an older man who
had just turned away from a group. "That's
what I call a birthday cake. You think
someone's going to jump out of that thing?"
"Hope not," he said in a gravelly voice.
"They might catch fire from all the candles.
What are
you going to call the place?"
"I haven't decided yet. Carrington wants
to call it Clippety-Do-Da or Hairway to
Heaven . . . but I told her we have to be a
little bit classier."
"Julius Scissors," I suggested.
"Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow," Jack
joined in.
Liberty covered her ears. "I'll go out of
business in the first week.
My parents never said it. They thought
you shouldn't wear out the words
What does your gut tell you?"
"My gut and I aren't currently speaking to
each other
The feelings cut too deep for them to be put
on display.
I had learned that there were substitutes
for a mother who couldn't be a mother. You
could find love with other people. You could
find it in places you weren't even looking.
But the original wound would never heal. I
would carry it with me forever, and so would
Tara. That was the trick . . . accepting it, going
on with your life, knowing it was part of
you.
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