She opens her eyes slowly. It takes her a moment to adjust to the bright kitchen light, shining in her eyes. "Can we rearrange the furniture this weekend?" she asks sleepily. "So when I sleep out here, you don't shine all of Satan's fiery hell lights in my eyes first thing in the morning?
Lisa McMannI've got a huge, terrible problem."
Oh no! Not that horrible toenail fungus that takes six months to cure?"
No, no, no. Much worse. This is shocking news. Are you sure I should tell you while you're driving?"
I've got my headset on. Both hands on the wheel. Windows rolled up. Go for it."
Okay, here goes...Principal Abernethy called me this morning to let me know I'm in the running for valedictorian."
There is silence.
A rather loudish snort.
And guffaws.
Congratulations," she finally says, laughing. "What ever are you going to do?"
Fail ever assignment from today onward."
You won't be able to."
Watch me.
Cabel smiles and hangs up. "Guess what."
What," Janie says.
We can go out on our first date."
Woo hoo!"
And guess what else- You're buying."
Me? Why?"
Because you lost the bet."
Janie thinks for a moment. Punches Cabel in the arm. "You did not fail five quizzes or tests!"
I did. I have proof.
Cabel calls Captain.
Komisky."
Sir, any chance Janie and I can be seen together now?"
Under the circumstances, that would pretty damn much make my day, yes. Besides, the Wilder cocaine case got settled on Monday. He pleaded guilty."
You rock, sir."
Yes, yes, I know. Go out to a movie or something, will you?"
Right away. Thank you."
And stop bothering me.
Are you okay?" she whispers, giggling.
Me? Oh sure. You might have to carry me out of here, though."
What happened?"
I created a distraction."
I gathered that."
Step stool, encyclopedias, floor."
I see. Well, I can't thank you enough."
Sure you can. Help me flunk enough tests, so I drop out of the 'torian range."
Can't you just tell Abernethy that you have a reputation as a dumbshit to keep up, and you don't want the attention?"
Flunking is more fun.
Do you think Cabel knows?"
Have you thought about asking him?"
Janie glances up to read her face. Bites her quivering lip to still it. "We're not exactly on speaking terms right now."
Captain sighs. "I gathered that." Carefully she says, "Cabel has his own demons and if he doesn't get on with killing them soon, I'm going to kick his ass...
Come on, Cabel," Carrie says. "Let me give you a ride, at least. Unless you want Shay to- hey, here she comes now." Carrie titters, her eyes dancing.
Cabel's eyes grow wide. He slips into the backseat of Carrie's car without a word. "Get me outta here. Fuckin' creepy cheerleaders.
Captain looks at Janie closely. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," she says. "You're gonna have a heck of a shiner by the time the day's over. Did you black our?"
"I...uh..." Janie shrugs. "I really have no idea."
"Yes, I think she did." Cabel cuts in. "I'm going to need to watch her all day. And probably all night, too," he adds. Very, very seriously.
The captain throws a rubber eraser at him and sends him out for coffee.
If you don't want me to see, I guess, don't sleep in the same room as me."
He looks at her with a sly smile. "But I'm known for sleeping in school. It's my shtick.
Janie: Did you ever sell drugs?
Cabel: Yes. Pot. Ninth and tenth grade. I was, uh...rather troubled back then.
Janie: Why did you stop?
Cabel: Got busted, and Captain made me a better deal. Janie: So you've been a narc since then? Cabel: I cringe at your terminology.
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