And the girl? I’m pretty sure he got her from a movie set where the music sounds like bow chicka bow wow. That or she’s inflatable.

M. Leighton

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Shawna smiles demurely at the attendant, her lips barely moving as she speaks to me. "If you had a piece of coal, we could hold her down, shove it up her ass and come collect a big fat diamond in a few days."

"I'm pretty sure it takes longer than a few days for coal to turn into a diamond, Shawna."

"Not in that tight ass, it wouldn't.

M. Leighton

Tags: down-to-you

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You sure? Because I specialize in deassholization."
This time she smiles. Deassholization?" "Yeah. Just think of me as the Orkin man of assholes--putting assholes in their place.

M. Leighton

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I pull away to speak, but he puts his finger over my lips. "Shhh, just let me love you, okay? Don't think. Just feel.

M. Leighton

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I bet he's an actual good guy. The kind that I desperately need in my life. The thing of it is, he'll never be mine because he's a good guy. By nature alone, a good guy would never cheat on his girlfriend, hence the impossibility of anything happening between Nash and me. Even if they were to break up, he'd probably be too nice a guy to hurt her like that, by dating her cousin.

M. Leighton

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So that's how you charm the cobra," I quip. He smiles devilishly. "If you really want to see what effect you have on my snake, I'd be happy to show you.

M. Leighton

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In the meantime, get those penis problems fixed. Every hen house needs a cock, but only the special hens can handle more than one. Try 'em out then pick one and stick with it. You're not old enough to play with two toys at the same time. That's cougar territory.

M. Leighton

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I have no clue. I have ovaries; therefore, I repel all things mechanical.

M. Leighton

Tags: humorous

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If you had a piece of coal, we could hold her down, shove it up her ass, and come collect a big, fat diamond in a few days.

M. Leighton

Tags: humorous

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Think with the big head, man! Think with the big head!

M. Leighton

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