If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.

Mark Twain


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But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.

Mark Twain


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The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.

Mark Twain


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To me [Edgar Allan Poe's] prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.

Mark Twain

Tags: bad-reviews jane-austen



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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Mark Twain

Tags: inspirational death



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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Mark Twain

Tags: imagination



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The Germans have an inhuman way of cutting up their verbs. Now a verb has a hard time enough of it in this world when it's all together. It's downright inhuman to split it up. But that's just what those Germans do. They take part of a verb and put it down here, like a stake, and they take the other part of it and put it away over yonder like another stake, and between these two limits they just shovel in German.
from "Disappearance of Literature

Mark Twain


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Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

[Mark Twain, a Biography]

Mark Twain

Tags: humor profanity prayer relief you-ll-completely-understand-why



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People talk about beautiful relationships between two persons of the same sex. What is the best of that sort as compared with the friendship of man and wife where the best impulses and highest ideals of both are the same? There is no place for comparison between the two friendships; the one is earthly, the other divine.

Mark Twain


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It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor politics



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