Too many disciples neglect their thorn-like qualities. For instance: Opting for singleness doesn't count if you can't attract a mate. Patience doesn't count if you are too cowardly to defend what is right. Forgiveness doesn't count if the offender never respected you enough to ask for it. Don't label your character flaws as noble sacrifices.
Michael Ben ZehabeTags: patience forgiveness respect sacrifice noble righteous disciple
Today's marriages become toxic, with resentments, after only a few years. It's one thing to say, 'I forgive,' but most lack the enterprise to do the necessary work that follows. It was the day after that proved who had the wisdom of God and who didn't.
Michael Ben ZehabeTags: wisdom marriage forgiveness tolerance resentment hard-work toxic newlywed song-of-songs song-of-solomon
This is going to hurt, but you will have to watch other couples be happier, richer and louder than you. Wait. No obstacle can withstand patience. Wait. You may not think so now, but there will come a time when you will be tempted to run away. Would that be right? Would that be fair? As every matriarch discovers, entire seasons will pass without reward. As your mate's peculiarities add up, what do you do? Wait!
Michael Ben ZehabeTags: patience marriage alienation separation divorce obstacles tempted newlywed song-of-songs song-of-solomon
Your partner may have injuries that you can't repair. Your partner may be trapped in a dark room without windows. Your life narrative might bring him more relief than an opiate. Some people make better windows than windows. Your kind words and enlightened perspective is a window of wonders to someone living in pain.
Michael Ben ZehabeTags: marriage darkness suicide separation divorce injuries newlywed marital-problems song-of-songs song-of-solomon
Marriage is nothing to underestimate. Success in marriage is about getting back up, again and again. Ultimately, the Shulamite had to write her own role in Solomon's drama. She made Solomon's problems her problems. For her, that was worth every bruise.
pg ii
Tags: waiting obstacles solomon shulamite song-of-songs song-of-solomon shunemite advice-to-daughter promise-keeper oath-keeper pitching-in resurrecting-marriage solomon-s-wedding-advice unfailing-marriage wedding-toast
There is a predictable theme as to what upsets our matriarchs. Usually, matriarchs are known for their unified support. When it comes to kingdom matters, however, they are willing to drive out Abraham's son. (Ge 21:10) They are willing to reject Isaac's son. (Ge 27:6-13) In other words, they are not afraid to reject royalty ('shepherd-like acquaintances') to further God's kingdom goals. (Re 20:4-6)
Michael Ben ZehabeTags: duty support matriarch family-justice kingdom-first opposing-husband opposing-your-husband what-s-fair
What changes when a woman marries? What does a woman lose and what does she gain? For Abishag, marrying king David gave her instant status. As a wife, impugning Abishag's character meant a swift death. As a wife, she inspired fear.
What changes when a woman is widowed? For Abishag, it meant foreign women came to Jerusalem to marry Solomon--and she was relegated to that of a spectator. In Abishag's widowhood, none feared her.
Tags: marriage widowhood status widow king-david song-of-songs song-of-solomon abishag impugning
Like Sarah, treat your husband like what he might become. When all the facts said Sarah would have no vineyard, she became a matriarch to nations. Sarah learned to behave as though she would become a mother to nations--and she did.
Michael Ben ZehabeTags: faith sarah pretending hoping shulamite song-of-songs song-of-solomon shunemite
To erroneously assert that the unclaimed Shunemite does not treasure the opportunity misses the entire point of this superlative song. She wants to leave with Solomon. This earthly Shunemite would be willing to die to be with Solomon--but until she develops skills of value to his kingdom--she will remain unclaimed.
Michael Ben ZehabeTags: rejection solomon king-david shulamite song-of-songs song-of-solomon shunemite keys-to-the-kingdom kingdom-value superlative-song
Would you marry you? Be the right person before seeking the right person. Solomon's bride is carefully chosen for the good of his family, for the good of his kingdom.
pg 9
Tags: family marriage choosing kingdom solomon anointed shulamite song-of-songs song-of-solomon shunemite kingdom-first bride-class choosing-wisely kingdom-interests solomon-s-bride
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