Did I just get psychically pimp-slapped by a little old lady?
Molly HarperTags: funny little-old-lady pimp-slapped
If God didn't want us to eat the animals, He wouldn't have made them so tasty.
Molly HarperHe's like that with everybody. Don't take it personally. Some people were just born with a pinecone shoved up their butts.
In Cooper's case, it's lodged sideways.
Maybe it was just an over abundance of hormones, a response to a sexual starvation diet. I'd been without for so long that my body was craving the worst possible thing for me. Cooper was carnal triple chocolate cheesecake, deep-fried on a stick.
Molly HarperMaybe the problem was that we never struggled. We just coasted along. The thing about coasting is that it usually means you're going downhill.
Molly HarperTags: common-sense
Oh, go sting the BumbleBee.
Molly HarperAfter pacing, humming, yoga, and playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon with the entire cast of Good Times, exhaustion finally got to me, and I managed to fall asleep.
Molly HarperI let Eli blow so much smoke up my skirt I'm surprised I don't have ass cancer.
Molly HarperWhat do you want from me, Maggie? Advice? Absolution? Go forth and be a bitch no more.
Molly HarperTags: humor
Well, that cinched it. He was an asshole. I was definitely going to end up sleeping with him.
Molly HarperTags: funny
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