Almost ready, sir,' said the sweating, harassed bosun. 'I'm working the cunt-splice myself.'

'Well,' said Jack, hurrying off to where the stern-chaser hung poised above the Sophie's quarter-deck, ready to plunge through her bottom if gravity could but have its way, 'a simple thing like a cunt-splice will not take a man of war's bosun long, I believe.

Patrick O'Brian

Tags: innuendo nautical-terminology



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[Babbington] "What did [the Doctor, Stephen] do to you, sir?"

[Captain Aubrey] "Well, I am ashamed to say he took a pistol-ball out of the small of my back. It must have been when I turned to hail for more hands- thank God I did not. At the time I thought it was one of those vile horses that were capering about abaft the wheel."

"Oh, sir, surely a horse would never have fired off a pistol?

Patrick O'Brian

Tags: wounds horses battle



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No man born of woman has ever understood spoken Portuguese.

Patrick O'Brian


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Wallis,' said Maturin, 'I am happy to see you. How is your penis?

Patrick O'Brian


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Never mind manoeuvres, always go at them.

Patrick O'Brian


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Why, sir," said he, looking about him, "what splendour I see: gold lace, breeches, cocked hats. Allow me to recommend a sandwich. And would you be contemplating an attack, at all?"
"It had crossed my mind, I must admit," said Jack. "Indeed, I may go so far as to say, that I am afraid a conflict is now virtually inevitable. Did you notice we have cleared for action?

Patrick O'Brian


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I read novels with the utmost pertinaity. I look upon them - I look upon good novels - as a very valuable part of literature, conveying more exact and finely-distinguished knowledge of the human heart and mind than almost any other, with greater beadth and depth and fewer contraints.

Patrick O'Brian


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Patriotism is a word; and one that generally comes to mean either my country, right or wrong, which is infamous, or my country is always right, which is imbecile.

Patrick O'Brian

Tags: philosophical political tired



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You are a reasonably civil, complaisant creature on dry land,' said Stephen, 'but the moment you are afloat you become pragmatical and absolute, a bashaw - do this, do that, gluppit the prawling strangles, there - no longer a social being at all. It is no doubt the effect of the long-continued habit of command; but it cannot be considered amiable.

Patrick O'Brian

Tags: humour navy jargon



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Nothing do I know of the law at all. But I do remember that the Bible likens human justice to a woman’s unclean rag—quasi pannus menstruate—and I have little faith in truth as an immediate safeguard, in this world.

Patrick O'Brian


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