Each
day brought just another minute of the things they could not leave behind. Jane Barrington sitting on the
train coming back to Leningrad from Moscow, holding on to her son, knowing she had failed him, crying
for Alexander, wanting another drink, and Harold, in his prison cell, crying for Alexander, and Yuri
Stepanov on his stomach in the mud in Finland, crying for Alexander, and Dasha in the truck, on the
Ladoga ice, crying for Alexander, and Tatiana on her knees in the Finland marsh, screaming for
Alexander, and Anthony, alone with his nightmares, crying for his father.
Memory - that fiend, that cruel enemy of comfort.
Paullina SimonsThough much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved
earth and heaven, that which we are, we are—
Unyielding.
Tatiana had imagined her Alexander since she was a child, before she believed that someone like him was even possible. When she was a little girl, she dreamed of a fine world in which a good man walked its winding roads, perhaps somewhere in his wandering soul searching for her.
Paullina SimonsIf there is God, I thought...Please some day let me make love to this girl while she wears that dress." "Oh..." "Tatiasha...isn't it nice to know there is a God?
Paullina SimonsTags: alexander-belov
All she had to do was stay where she was, go on as she was.
But there was no Tatiana here. Tatiana remained with Alexander. Her arms were around him in Lake
Ladoga, where she lay down with him every night. Her arms were holding him bleeding out into the Lake
Ladoga ice. She could have let go of him then, could have given him to God; God was certainly calling
for him.
But she didn’t.
And because she didn’t, she was here in America, sitting on the ledge of the rest of her life. It certainly
felt that way, that seminal moment where she knew that whatever her decision, her life would take either
one course or it would take another.
One way the path was plain and vivid.
And the other was black and fraught with doubt
I'll take your breath any way you give it to me, Shura.
Paullina SimonsShe paused when he did not speak. "I know what I would do if I were you." Frantically, Tatiana chewed her lip. It was love or truth.
Love won.
Steeling herself, she said, "Yes," in a fragment of a voice. "I would choose America over you."
Alexander broke down. "Come here, you lying wife," he said, bringing her close, encompassing her.
In Alexander's life there was one thread that could not be broken by death, by distance, by time, by war. Could not be broken. As long as I am in the world, she said with her breath and her body, as long as I am, you are permanent, soldier.
Paullina SimonsAttraversa la strada. Seguila. E darà un senso alla tua esistenza.
Paullina Simons« first previous
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