Talking of being eaten by dogs, there’s a dachshund at Brinkley who when you first meet him will give you the impression that he plans to convert you into a light snack between his regular meals. Pay no attention. It’s all eyewash. His belligerent attitude is simply—"
Sound and fury signifying nothing, sir?"
That’s it. Pure swank. A few civil words, and he will be grappling you . . . What’s the expression I’ve heard you use?"
Grappling me to his soul with hoops of steel, sir?"
In the first two minutes. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, but he has to put up a front because his name’s Poppet. One can readily appreciate that when a dog hears himself addressed day in and day out as Poppet, he feels he must throw his weight about. Is self-respect demands it."
Precisely, sir."
You’ll like Poppet. Nice dog. Wears his ears inside out. Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?"
I could not say, sir."
Nor me. I’ve often wondered.
I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves
P.G. WodehouseTags: inspirational
The High Street was full of farmers, cows, and other animals, the majority of the former well on the road to intoxication. It is, of course, extremely painful to see a man in such a condition, but when such a person in endeavouring to count a perpetually moving drove of pigs, the onlooker's pain is sensibly diminished.
P.G. WodehouseDeep down in his heart the genuine Englishman has a rugged distaste for seeing his country invaded by a foreign army. People were asking themselves by what right these aliens had overrun British soil. An ever-growing feeling of annoyance had begun to lay hold of the nation.
P.G. WodehouseA girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.
P.G. WodehouseBillie knew all. And, terrible though the fact is as an indictment of the male sex, when a woman knows all, there is invariably trouble ahead for some man.
P.G. WodehouseNo one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out.
P.G. WodehouseIf you are a millionaire beset by blackmailers or anyone else to whose comfort the best legal advice is essential, and have decided to put your affairs in the hands of the ablest and discreetest firm in London, you proceed through a dark and grimy entry and up a dark and grimy flight of stairs; and, having felt your way along a dark and grimy passage, you come at length to a dark and grimy door. There is plenty of dirt in other parts of Ridgeway's Inn, but nowhere is it so plentiful, so rich in alluvial deposits, as on the exterior of the offices of Marlowe, Thorpe, Prescott, Winslow and Appleby. As you tap on the topmost of the geological strata concealing the ground-glass of the door, a sense of relief and security floods your being. For in London grubbiness is the gauge of a lawyer's respectability.
P.G. WodehouseTags: lawyers
Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.
P.G. WodehouseTags: synonyms drunkenness
If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. WodehouseTags: nazis poland 1940 internment upper-silesia
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