I suppose everyone has had that ghastly feeling at one time or another of being urged by some overwhelming force to do some absolutely blithering act.
P.G. WodehouseShe had a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge.
P.G. WodehouseI remember, back in England, the man I had before Jeeves sneaked off to a meeting on his evening out and come back and denounced me in front of a crowd of chappies I was giving a bit of supper to as a useless blot on the fabric of Society.
P.G. WodehouseBoyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
P.G. WodehouseHe's like one of those weird birds in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them. I've got a cousin who's what they call a Theosophist, and he says he's often nearly worked the thing himself, but couldn't quite bring it off, probably owing to having fed in his boyhood on the flesh of animals slain in anger and pie.
P.G. WodehouseThat's good," I said. "And if you have a nice time this morning on the sands with your spade and bucket, you will come and tell me all about it, won't you? I have so little on my mind just now that it's a treat to hear all about your happy holiday."
Satirical, if you see what I mean. Sarcastic. Almost bitter, as a matter of fact, if you come right down to it.
Did you ever tread on your partner's dress at a dance - I'm speaking now of the days when women wore dresses long enough to be trodden on - and hear it rip and see her smile at you like an angel and say, "Please don't apologise. It's nothing," and then suddenly meet her clear blue eyes and feel as if you had stepped on the teeth of a rake and had the handle jump up and hit you in the face?
P.G. WodehouseEvery time I look up and catch that kid's vacant eye, I suffer agonies. I tell you, Bertie, sometimes when he gives me a patronising glance and then turns away and is sick, as if it revolted him to look at me, I come within an ace of occupying the entire front page of the evening papers as the latest murder sensation.
P.G. WodehouseI am putting out the brown suit, sir.'
'No, I think I'll wear the blue with the faint red stripe.'
'Not the blue with the faint red stripe, sir.'
'But I rather fancy myself in it.'
'Not the blue with the faint red stripe, sir.'
'Oh, all right, have it your own way.'
'Very good, sir. Thank you, sir.
As I believe I told you before, there had been some slight unpleasantness between us, arising from the occasion when she had sent me over to New York to disentangle my cousin Gussie from the clutches of a girl on the music hall stage. When I tell you that by the time I had finished my operations Gussie had not only married the girl but had gone on the halls himself and was doing well, you'll understand that relations were a trifle strained between aunt and nephew.
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