Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

Phyllis Diller

Tags: aging getting-old middle-age-spread wearing-out

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Money's scarce
Times are hard
Here's your fucking
Xmas card

Phyllis Diller

Tags: humour christmas

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Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.

Phyllis Diller

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A smile is a curve that sets things right.

Phyllis Diller

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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

Phyllis Diller

Tags: parents children motherhood

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