You're still here. No beer. I'm not corrupting a minor."
"But you're a minor," she pointed out. "At least for beer."
"Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I'm an adult if I kill somebody, and I'm not if I want a beer?

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor



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And if you dont come back from the dorm, I'm the one who has to explain to Micheal how I let you go off and get yourself killed like a Dumbass. First rule in horror movies, Clair-Never split up!

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor-funny



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Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy.

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor boys



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Jealous?"

"Maybe."

"No reason. I like my ladies with a pulse.

Rachel Caine

Tags: love vampires



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Maybe I should, I don't know leave? Because this is starting to sound like one of those reality shows I don't want to be in. Maybe you guys want to take turns in the confessional booth.

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor tv



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That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know."

"Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind."

"I so wish you hadn't said that.

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor vampires gross



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I'm gonna kill him," Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow.
Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-"

And what?" (Michael)

When did you get home?" Claire demanded.

Apparently just in time to hear my funeral plans. I especially like the garlic up the ass. It's...different.

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor death vampires



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Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?"

"No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking.

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor vampires blood



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Doorman: Good morning Mr. Peaknis

Mr. P.: Go to hell

Rachel Caine

Tags: hell ghost-town



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That's kind of a leap, but the Russian judge gave you a nine point five for style, so okay.

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor



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