It was better when we were kissing.
Rachel Ward "Are you awake?" I whispered, my voice nearly disappearing in the darkness of the huge barn.
"Yeah."
"I'm freezing."
"I know. Me, too" A pause. A long, long pause. "Come here, then."
Lovers, yes, we're lovers now.
Rachel WardSpider?” I’d said, with a question mark in my voice.
“Yeah.”
“You know at school . . . what did you do that for? Wade in like that?”
Spider frowned. “He was disrespectful, Jem. What you said—I could tell it was real. It was what you were really feeling. He had no right to make a joke of it.”
“Yeah, I know, he’s a tosser, but it’s nothing to do with you. You made a right show of yourself. You made a show of me.”
“I didn’t want him to get away with it.”
“Yeah, but I don’t need a knight in shining armor. I can look after myself.” He was smiling a bit now. I paused. “It’s not funny, man. It’s made everything worse,” I said quietly. “I’ve got comments all the time now, ‘bout you and me. Sly comments.”
He looked away, studied his hands. The knuckles on the right one were nearly healed up now.
My mouth had gone dry, but I had to get this clear with him. “You do know there’s no ‘you and me,’ don’t you, Spider?”
He looked up. “What?”
“We’re not like . . . together. Just mates.”
There was something about his sullenness when he said, “Yeah, ‘course. Just mates. Mates is good,” that made me think he felt the exact opposite. I was churning inside, cursing that day under the bridge. People were so bloody difficult. Why had I ever got involved?
He stood up, came toward me, putting an arm out. I thought, Shit, he’s going to hug me. Hasn’t he listened to anything? But his hand formed a fist, and he lightly punched my arm. “Listen, man, I know what you’re like. I’ve told you I’ll never say nothing nice to you. And now you’ve put my straight, I’ll never do nothing nice for you, either. OK? If someone disrespects you, I’ll let them. If you’re being mugged on the street, I’ll walk on by. If I see you on fire, I won’t even piss on you. OK?
If you’ve found someone who loves you – that’s the most important thing of all. If you’ve got that, then you should appreciate every damn second with them.
Rachel WardDo you know what it's like to hear those words? To hear the person you love telling you they love you, too? If you don't now, I hope you do one day.
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