Now that we've got the whole story," he said solemnly, "now you can panic.

Robert Lynn Asprin


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I have also noted, over the course of our friendship, that his hearing is curiously erratic. He can hear a lizard-bird scratching itself half a mile away, but occasionally seems unable to hear the politest of requests no matter how loudly I shout them at him.

Robert Lynn Asprin


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Well, kid," Aahz said, sweeping me with an appraising stare, "it looks like we're stuck with each other. The setup isn't ideal, but it's what we've got. Time to bite the bullet and play with the cards we're dealt. You do know what cards are, don't you?"
"Of course," I said, slightly wounded.
"Good."
"What's a bullet?

Robert Lynn Asprin

Tags: humor



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The Demon curled its lips back, revealing a double row of needle-sharp teeth.
I considered changing my chosen course of action; I considered fainting.

Robert Lynn Asprin

Tags: funny



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Earthquakes were extremely uncommon in this area. A dragon and a unicorn playing tag wasn't.

Robert Lynn Asprin

Tags: random funny



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Please ta meetcha, kid. I'm Aahz."
"Oz?"
"No Relation."
"No relation to what?" I asked, but he was examining the room again.

Robert Lynn Asprin

Tags: funny



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Relax, Skeeve! This'll be easy, Skeeve! Trust me, Skeeve!' Boy Aahz, when you miss a call you don't do it small, do you?"
"Shut up, kid!

Robert Lynn Asprin


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Run through those time measurements again," Aahz grumbled.
"In seconds, minutes, hours...."
"Minutes! We've got a few minutes.

Robert Lynn Asprin


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Went with one (Assassin) for a while... lovely lass, but she couldn't keep her mouth shut, even in bed. Sometimes I wonder if any profession really guards its secrets as closely as they claim.

Robert Lynn Asprin


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Relax, Stranger. Things are not as they seem.

Robert Lynn Asprin


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