I planned my whole future around Adam," she said now, quietly. "And now I have nothing." "No," I told her, "now you just don't have Adam. There's a big difference, Lissa. You just can't see it yet.
Sarah DessenBut I always worked harder when I was up against something, or when someone assumed I couldn't succeed. That's what drove me, all those nights studying. The fact that so many figured I couldn't do it.
Sarah DessenIt passed, though. That was the bad thing. It always passed.
Sarah DessenSo," she went on, "it got me thinking about what cost beauty. Or for that matter, what cost anything? Would you trade love for beauty? Or happiness for beauty? Could a gorgeous person with a mean streak be a worthy trade? And if you did make the trade, decide you'd take that beautiful swan and hope it wouldn't turn on you, what would you do if it did?
Sarah DessenSo much hanging on just these things, tiny increments that together build a life. Like words build a story, and what had Ted said? One word can change the entire world
Sarah DessenI should have told you from the start. I will let you down.
Sarah DessenMaybe, you just misplaced it, you know? It's been there. But you just haven't been looking in the right spot. Because lost means forever, it's gone. But misplaced... that means it's still around, somewhere. Just not where you thought.
Sarah DessenBut it was too early to know: there were always more pages to go, more words to be written, before the story was over.
Sarah DessenI drove off, with my friends watching me go, all of them grouped on Lissa's hood. As I pulled onto the road, I glanced into the rearview and saw them: they were waving, hands moving through the air, their voices loud, calling out after me. The square of that mirror was like a frame, holding this picture of them saying good-bye, pushing me forward, before shifting gently out of sight, inch by fluid inch, as I turned away.
Sarah DessenI was heading off to my new world. But I was taking a part of my past, and the future, along with me for the ride.
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