Who am I kidding? What am I going to do with a girl like her?”

“We had this talk when we were fourteen. I even brought my brother’s Hustler for visual assistance.

Shelly Laurenston


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She uses that shampoo,” he sighed.

“What shampoo?”

“The one with honey in it.”

Ric’s eyes crossed. “Oh, my God.”

“She was sitting in that tree, her leg bleeding out, and all I could think about was how good her hair smelled.

Shelly Laurenston


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Exactly! What kind of plumber has pristine nails?”

“A smart one.

Shelly Laurenston


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I have iced tea, dear. Or beer?”

“Maybe a saucer of milk?”

Gwen and Alla looked over at Lock and he immediately pointed at his father. “It was him,” he lied.

Shelly Laurenston


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The husband got in front of his wife but Gwen never understood the whole waiting-for-a-guy-to-protect-you thing. She was a runner and hopefully the guy could keep up.

Shelly Laurenston


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Now listen up, you Navy-loving son of a bitch! If my friend wants that bear, she’s gonna get that bear. And neither hell nor you nor some big-haired, twenty-hour-sleeping king of the idiots is gonna stop me from making sure she gets that bear!

Shelly Laurenston


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Oh, my God!” Gwen suddenly burst out, startling the bears in the room, which made the rest of the predators nervous.

Shelly Laurenston


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I’m sure. I do not need to hear about my ‘frisky’ father.

Shelly Laurenston


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Do you want to come inside for a drink?” she softly offered.

“No. No. No, no, no, no. No.”

Gwen stared at him. “One ‘no’ would have been clear.”

“Those ‘no’s’ weren’t for you. They were for me. I was simply saying them out loud.

Shelly Laurenston


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A cry for help that only Ma and someone else’s apple pie—” because Christ knows Ma can’t bake “—can fix.

Shelly Laurenston


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