..Some things aren't measured by their size, but by their importance.
Simone ElkelesMan, my girl is one tough chick when she wants to be. I wonder if it has something to do with those
big, comfy granny panties she’s got on.
Tags: humor-funny
Alex probably brings his dates sharp knives as gifts, in case she'll need one when she's out on a date with him.
Simone ElkelesNo offense, but your mom is strange. She's a hit MILF, but totally off the wall."
I take my hand back."Eww! Colin, you just called my mom a MILF! I'm completely grossed out!
he thinks of it as playing good cop/bad cop. Except we play bad gang member/worse gang member.
Simone ElkelesShe looks up at me with those vulnerable eyes. “What if it means something?” She asks.
“What if it does?”
“Promise me it won’t mean anything.”
I lean my head back on the couch. “It won’t mean anythin’.” Aren’t I supposed to be the guy in this scenario, laying down the no-commitment rules?
“And no tongue,” she adds.
“Mi vida, if I kiss you, I guarantee there’s gonna be tongue.
Tags: alex-fuentes
I flip open my phone to text Jessica:
Me: Guess who's pregnant?
Jess: u?
Me: Get real.
Jess: ur mom?
Me: yep
Jess: Mazel tov!?
Me: Don't congratulate me, plz
Jess: Could b worse
Me: How?
Jess: Could be u?
Me: I'm a virgin.
Jess: Nobody's perfect.
Say something, Amy," Miranda insists. "Something positive. I'm sure it'll make you feel better."
"Okay, Miranda. I've got it." I motion the girls to lean in close to hear my words. "At least I'm not dead."
How's that for positivity?
I have to admit it does make me feel better.
Cómo me gustaría poder retroceder al año pasado y empezar de nuevo. La vida no te permite hacer eso. No es posible borrar el pasado, pero voy a tratar de hacer que otras personas lo olviden.
Simone ElkelesEs difícil mantener todo igual cuando las mismas cosas lucen y se sienten diferentes.
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