After a breakup, I'll conduct the normal breakup rituals. I'll cut up photographs, erase voice mails, gather his dark concert T-shirts I once slept in and douse them with bleach before I use them to clean my bathtub.
Sloane CrosleyI have never pictured my own wedding. I do want to get married. I think it's a nice idea. Though I think husbands are like tattoos -- you should wait until you come across something you want on your body for the rest of your life..
Sloane CrosleyExtremists and their supports cause you to align yourself with something you're not in order to get as far away as possible from the something you're really not.
Sloane CrosleyNames I am most commonly called by telemarketers: Simone, Slain, Siobhan, Flo, Stacey, Susan, Slater, Leanne, and Slow (Yes, my parents named me "Slow". That's because they hate me and made me sleep in the linen closet subsisting only on bath salts and Scope).
Sloane CrosleyTags: humor names telemarketing
It's remarkable the logic we'll build around a misapprehension.
Sloane CrosleyTags: childhood logic misunderstandings
Who do you have to sleep with to get laid in this town?
Sloane CrosleyHow above-the-law children's books are. Hansel and Gretel (littering, breaking and entering), Rumpelstiltskin (forced labor), Snow White (conspiracy to commit murder), Rapunzel (break of contract).
Sloane CrosleyTags: humor fairy-tales laws grimm-fairy-tales
[He] is the worst kind of asshole they make - the kind who is completely oblivious to how he sounds, the kind who is impossible to argue with because he doesn't allow for a worldview outside of his own.
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