The law is where reality goes to die.

Steve Aylett


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One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of god’s existence.

Steve Aylett


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The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice.

Steve Aylett


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Painkillers are the drugs of the future

Steve Aylett


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The clerk tripped on the carpet, hit a window and went through, carrying with him a vase which had been on the sill. His skull broke like the vase and the vase broke like his skull, and both burst forth water mainly, and from the vase some flowers. If I could choose a death I’d make it something like that, except I’d add a good woman and some lard.

Steve Aylett


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What’s that thing when someone gets a knock on the head and suddenly can’t remember anything about himself?’
Death,’ said the barman, his face a mask of disapproval.

Steve Aylett


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Dreams always end before you kill the last person.

Steve Aylett


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A key and a strangler - this is all a simple tale requires.

Steve Aylett

Tags: writing



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I knew books could see people around them, they ground their tiny teeth, tried to rattle like windows, stories to tell.

Steve Aylett

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Most books are so well written they barely have any effect on the reader’s senses

Steve Aylett

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