Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing.
Steve KlugerTags: politics government my-most-excellent-year
It would have served me right if I'd had a cerebral aneurysm on the spot. Instead, I forgot all about my foot--until we shoved the flat onto the stage. I think we broke my ankle. This is bullshit. I have finals to worry about.
Steve KlugerEven though I didn't notice it while it was happening, I got reminded in ninth grade of a few things I guess I should have known all along.
1. A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes.
2. Always remember what it was like to be six.
3. Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins. And if you're reall lucky, maybe even a purple balloon.
We make families of our own, Travis whispered in my arms on the last night we spent together. It starts with you and me and then it spreads. And whatever happens, there’ll always be a part of me that’s part of you. No matter what.
Steve KlugerTags: love family me-and-you
Mr. Herbert Demarest
Alexander Hamilton Jr. High
2236 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn NY
Dear Mr Demarest,
Then why don't you give him 'Withering Heights'? At least Heathcoat knew how to kick some ass.
Chas. Banks
3d Base
Tags: literature letter principal
The only thing I know about Moses is him coming down from the mountain with the commandments and saying 'The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in.
Steve KlugerTags: humor commandments moses
Alexander Hamilton Junior High School
-- SEMESTER REPORT --
STUDENT: Joseph Margolis
TEACHER: Janet Hicks
ENGLISH: A, ARITHMETIC: A, SOCIAL STUDIES: A, SCIENCE: A, NEATNESS: A, PUNCTUALITY: A, PARTICIPATION: A, OBEDIENCE: D
Teacher's Comments:
Joseph remains a challenging student. While I appreciate his creativity, I am sure you will agree that a classroom is an inappropriate forum for a reckless imagination. There is not a shred of evidence to support his claim that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian, and even fewer grounds to explain why he even knows what the word means. Similarly, an analysis of the Constitutional Convention does not generate sufficient cause to initiate a two-hour classroom debate on what types of automobiles the Founding Fathers would have driven were they alive today. When asked on a subsequent examination, "What did Benjamin Franklin use to discover electricity?" eleven children responded "A Packard convertible". I trust you see my problem.
[...]
Janet Hicks
Parent's Comments:
As usual I am very proud of Joey's grades. I too was unaware that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian. I assumed they were all Protestants.
Thank you for writing.
Ida Margolis
Tags: humor teacher parent semester-report
And if Henry Higgins is not the most reprehensible character ever written for the stage, that's only because somewhere, somehow, someone is composing a musical biography of Ronald Reagan
Steve KlugerTags: reagan musical-theatre
REAL LIFE vs THE MOVIES
Breaking Up in the Movies:
Boy #1: This isn’t working out, is it?
Boy #2: Sort of not, huh?
Boy #1: You can’t say we didn’t try.
Boy #2: We sure did. Besides, we’re still best friends.
Boy #1: Forever.
Boy #2: This is terrific pasta.
Breaking Up for Real:
Boy #1: Are you asleep?
Boy #2: Does it sound like it?
Boy #1: I’m sorry about the tuna fish.
Boy #2: It isn’t the tuna fish! It’s the last six months!
Boy #1: You’re an asshole.
Boy #2: Let go of my cock.
Tags: funny breaking-up
It doesn't matter what people thinks of you as long as you know that your heart and head are in the right place.
Steve Kluger« first previous
Page 2 of 4.
next last »
Data privacy
Imprint
Contact
Diese Website verwendet Cookies, um Ihnen die bestmögliche Funktionalität bieten zu können.