DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT.

Terry Pratchett


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He's out of his depth on a wet pavement.

Terry Pratchett


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Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: spelling



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Mr Horsefry was a youngish man, not simply running to fat but vaulting, leaping and diving towards obesity. He had acquired at thirty an impressive selection of chins, and now they wobbled with angry pride.*

* It is wrong to judge by appearances. Despite his expression, which was that of a piglet having a bright idea, and his mode of speech, which might put you in mind of a small, breathless, neurotic but ridiculously expensive dog, Mr Horsefry might well have been a kind, generous and pious man. In the same way, the man climbing out of your window in a stripy jumper, a mask and a great hurry might merely be lost on the way to a fancy-dress party, and the man in the wig and robes at the focus of the courtroom might only be a transvestite who wandered in out of the rain. Snap judgements can be so unfair.

Terry Pratchett


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I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: time sun



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They felt, in fact, tremendously bucked-up, which was how Lady Ramkin would almost certainly have put it and which was definitely several letters of the alphabet away from how they normally felt.

Terry Pratchett


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Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.

Terry Pratchett


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They always gives me bath salts," complained Nobby. "And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can't think why, 'cos it's not as if I hardly ever has a bath. You'd think they'd take the hint, wouldn't you?

Terry Pratchett

Tags: gifts baths



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Real children do not go hoppity skip unless they are on drugs.

Terry Pratchett


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His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation.

Terry Pratchett


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