I typed in a single word: Vampre. Google asked, 'Did you mean vampire?' I said, 'Yes.
The Harvard LampoonHe made small talk on the way about how he was abandoned as a child and will only rest easy once he is avenged. His name was Tom.
The Harvard LampoonI took the one letter he had for us. It was from the Switchblade Gas
The Harvard LampoonAfter dinner, Edwart took me upstairs to see his room. At the top of the stairs was a giant wooden cross.
"Ironic, huh?" Edwart said.
"Why?" I asked with trepidation, imagining that, at any second, Edwart would turn into dust, which I would then sweep up and disperse over my furniture so he would always be with me.
"Because we're Jewish, of course--nonpracticing.
All of a sudden, he began to laugh. Had I said something funny? Had he? How long had I been spacing out for, slowly growing conscious that my fate was in the hands of a group of college kids who'd kill me off just for a laugh.
Little did they realize that I was organizing a revolt.
Germs contagious, contagious alert!
But Edwart and Purell are stronger than dirt!
Tags: humor twilight nightlight
I'll have AB positive', I told Josh when he returned from the dance floor, 'What's it made of? Apples and Bananas?'
-Belle Goose
The two things I look for in a guy is how tall he is and whether or not he's a vampire. Pretty much all my crushes have been one or the other. One guy, actually, was both big and a vampire, but he turned out to be gay.
The Harvard LampoonI want to leave all my friends and the sunlight for a small, rainy town.
The Harvard LampoonTags: paranormal-romance urban-fantasy nightlight harvard-lampoon twilight-parody
Germs contagious, Contagious alert!
But Edwart and Purell are stronger than dirt!
Tags: edwart nightlight the-harvard-lampoon
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