You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go.
Tina FeyWhen choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable.
Tina FeyDon't waste your energy trying to change opinions ... Do your thing, and don't care if they like it.
Tina FeyTags: inspirational self-esteem change self-confidence trying
There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
Tina FeyTags: socialism red-lobster
The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing.
Tina FeyTags: exercise magazines sobbing
Now let me be clear; millions of women around the world nurse their children beautifully for years without giving anybody else a hard time about it. Teat Nazis are a solely western upper-middle-class phenomenon occurring when highly ambitious women experience deprivation from outside modes of achievement.
Tina FeyTags: humor
Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope.
Tina FeyI would not trade any of these features for anybody else’s. I wouldn’t trade the small thin-lipped mouth that makes me resemble my nephew. I wouldn’t even trade the acne scar on my right cheek, because that recurring zit spent more time with me in college than any boy ever did.
Tina FeyYou can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.
Tina FeyTags: humor morning-breath
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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