UNDERTAKER!” the head boomed. “BOY, DO I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU!

Tom Upton

Tags: horror



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We’re here to take over the world-- that’s why we’re starting here in Hamilton, Indiana-- the nerve center of the entire planet.

Tom Upton

Tags: humor



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...It’s pretty simple, really: having fun can only led to having more fun-- it cannot led to injury, pain, or dismemberment.

Tom Upton

Tags: humor



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I really should come with a warning label.

Tom Upton

Tags: humor



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I just love things that serve a duel purpose.

Tom Upton

Tags: humor



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Do you realize how hard it is to keep your mind clear when somebody’s telling you to keep your mind clear?

Tom Upton

Tags: humor



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"Well-- I don’t know-- the cops might not respond too well to you looking through their windows with a telescope."

Tom Upton

Tags: humor young-adult



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Poor kid-- all she’d wanted to do was get her teeth fixed.

Tom Upton

Tags: macabre



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Other than the voices in my head, I think I’m pretty normal.

Tom Upton

Tags: humor young-adult



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It is not easy being trapped in a school that is caught between cornfields and cows.

Tom Upton

Tags: young-adult



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