I didn't realize until that moment that Dauntless initiation had taught me an important lesson: how to keep going.
Veronica RothMy name is Tobias Eaton," Tobias says. "I don't think you want to push me off this train."
The effect of the name on the people in the car is immediate and bewildering: they lower their weapons. They exchange meaningful looks.
"Eaton? Really?" Edward says, eyebrows raised. "I have to admit, I did not see that coming." He clears his throat. "Fine, you can come. But when we get to the city, you've got to come with us."
Then he smiles a little. "We know someone who's been looking for you, Tobias Eaton.
How is it I know this little about the boy who says he loves me -- the boy whose real name is powerful enough to keep us alive in a train car full of enemies?
Veronica RothIf you throw yourself into danger for no reason again, you will have become nothing more than a Dauntless adrenaline junkie looking for a hit, and I'm not going to help you do it." He spits the words out bitterly. "I love Tris the Divergent, who makes decisions apart from faction loyalty, who isn't some faction archetype. But the Tris who's trying as hard as she can to destroy herself... I can't love her.
Veronica RothThis is what I wanted most to avoid: for my rises and falls to become Tobias's rises and falls. That's why I can't let him step in to defend me now.
Veronica RothI try to think of something helpful to say. I'm not going to die -- but I don't know that. We live in a dangerous world, and I am not so attached to life that I will do anything to survive. I can't reassure him.
Veronica RothHis fingers leave streaks of cold on my skin, invisible to the eye, and I think about wrapping his shirt around my fist and pulling him in to kiss me; I think about pressing myself against him, but I can't, because all our secrets would keep a space between us.
Veronica RothHe sits next to me and puts his arm on the back of my chair, leaning close. I don't stare back -- I refuse to stare back.
I stare back.
I read somewhere, once, that crying defies scientific explanation. Tears are only meant to lubricate the eyes. There is no real reason for tear glands to overproduce tears at the behest of emotion. I think we cry to release the animal parts of us without losing our humanity.
Veronica RothBefore I leave the bathroom, I pinch my cheeks hard to bring blood to the surface of my skin. It’s stupid, but I don’t want to look weak and exhausted in front of everyone.
When I walk back into Tobias’s room, Uriah is sprawled across the bed facedown; Christina is holding the blue sculpture above Tobias’s desk, examining it; and Lynn is poised above Uriah with a pillow, a wicked grin creeping across her face.
Lynn smacks Uriah hard in the back of the head, Christina says, “Hey Tris!” and Uriah cries, “Ow! How on earth do you make a pillow hurt, Lynn?”
“My exceptional strength,” she says. “Did you get smacked, Tris? One of your cheeks is bright red.”
I must not have pinched the other one hard enough. “No, it’s just … my morning glow.
Tags: humor christina tris uriah lynn
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