When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W.C. FieldsDrowned in a vat of whiskey... Oh Death, where is thy sting?
W.C. FieldsI spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W.C. FieldsThe best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
W.C. FieldsSome things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W.C. FieldsAttitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W.C. FieldsTags: education attitude skill circumstances
Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.
W.C. FieldsTags: misanthropy chauvanism
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W.C. FieldsTags: children
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate all people equally.
W.C. FieldsTags: hate
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W.C. FieldsTags: humor common-sense horses betting
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