For me, Modern Warfare 3 's plot makes its signature turn around the bend when Russia invades Europe. As in, all of it. Simultaneously.

Now, I've never invaded Europe, except for that one time, but I would think that's a project you might want to stagger out a bit if you haven't forged an alliance with any galactic empires lately.

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tags: zero-punctuation



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How exactly does a steam-powered gun turret differentiate between friend and foe? I wasn't aware that boiled water could form allegiances.

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tags: zero-punctuation



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Individuals are fine once you get to know them, especially if they're interesting in conversation or have large, sumptuous breasts, but I don't like people in the plural and I've seen very little to change my mind about that.

Yahtzee Croshaw


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fifty-story skyscrapers stood side by side with older ten-story buildings like fathers and sons at the urinal together.

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tags: humor



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The obedient Pit bull becomes the escaped tiger and it's got a knife

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tags: humor



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This was how I would die. Strangled by an attractive, seminaked woman inside a fridge with a giant tarantula in the middle of a sea of carnivorous jam. As I blacked out, all I could think of was a fortune teller I'd spoken to a few years ago, and how full of shit she'd turned out to be.

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tags: death humour hindsight dying black-humor



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The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists.

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tags: death comedy apocalypse black-humor



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I could think of no better place to secretly murder someone than inside a fridge. Well, actually there were probably several better ones, but none came to mind at the time.

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tags: murder hindsight black-humor



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