Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.
Eoin ColferTags: artemis-fowl
Card five hundred and thirty-four," repeated Artemis. "Of a series of six hundred standard inkblot cards. I memorized them during our sessions. You don't even shuffle."
Argon checked the number on the back of the card: 534. Of course. "Knowing the number doesn't answer the question. What do you see?"
Artemis allowed his lip to wobble. "I see an ax dripping with blood. Also a scared child, and an elf clothed in the skin of a troll."
"Really?" Argon was interested now.
"No. Not really. I see a secure building, perhaps a family home, with four windows. A trustworthy pet, and a pathway leading from the door into the distance. I think, if you check your manual, you will find that these answers fall inside healthy parameters."
Argon did not need to check. The Mud Boy was right, as usual.
Tags: humor artemis-fowl
Why can't I solve this problem by killing someone? she though petulantly, then comforted herself with the mantra that had kept her going in prison: "Soon all the humans will be dead," she said, droning in the time-honored fashion of gurus everywhere. "And then Opal will be loved."
And even if I'm not loved, she thought, at least all the humans will be dead.
Tags: revenge artemis-fowl opal-koboi the-last-guardian
The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.
Eoin ColferTags: science artemis-fowl evolution eoin-colfer
HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book?
FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.
Tags: holly-short artemis-fowl foaly
The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.
Eoin ColferTags: inspirational artemis-fowl thought-provoking
Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"
Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
Tags: artemis-fowl funny relativity time-travel artemis-fowl-humor
That will be her undoing," gasped Artemis, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. "Artemis Fowl will never be secondary."
"I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.
Tags: artemis-fowl funny artemis-fowl-the-2nd
This might hurt a little is universal code for this will definitely hurt a lot
Eoin ColferTags: holly-short artemis-fowl the-last-guardian
Perhaps we can win, he thought. But there will be no happy ending
Eoin ColferTags: holly-short artemis-fowl the-last-guardian
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