I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD.

Santosh Kalwar

Tags: men comedy funny-and-random ipad



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Well I beat things around with my stick once in awhile.

Kira4Inu

Tags: humor comedy



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I do not know what it was about that boy but just looking at him, even I wanted to clout him on the head. It was a head that invited violence.

Patrick deWitt

Tags: humor funny comedy



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Peter and Jessie were like Romeo and Juliet. Have you ever seen that old movie? Starring Leonardo Dicaprio?

Adele Griffin

Tags: comedy



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You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica Seinfeld puts spinach in kids' brownies. Suckers!

Tina Fey

Tags: feminism comedy



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[T]he definition of 'crazy' in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.

Tina Fey

Tags: women feminism comedy



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Because I'm on the phone, Mom!"
"Fooling around with your friends again! Who is that?"
"Ahmadinejad."
"Oh, my goodness! What is he saying?"
"That he wants to see Jeezy at the Beacon tonight. Putin's going too. He scalped a ticket from Kim Jong Il. All tha gangstas are going."
"Don't be so fresh, young man!"
"Gotta go," he says to me. "Enemy forces have dropped a Momshell."
"Fall back, solider. Over and out.

Jennifer Donnelly

Tags: comedy



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You know, you can always do a three some.”
“A three some?” I frowned. “No.”
He shrugged. “Just a thought.”
“Yeah, a dumb one,” I spat.
“Hey! I didn’t call your idea to re-wallpaper the kitchen a dumb idea!”
“You have a problem with the new paper?” I demanded.
“Pop, please, it’s hideous,” Trick said.

Kira4Inu

Tags: humor comedy argument



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Cause if you shoot a bullet someone dies. If you drop a bomb many die. You hit a woman, love dies. But if you say the F-word... nothing actually happens.

Richard Curtis

Tags: love death fuck comedy swearing the-boat-that-rocked



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Everything that is going to kill you is extremely appetizing.

Doug Stanhope

Tags: comedy stand-up doug-stanhope



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