When people get into their 30s plus "boyfriend" sounds weird...if you really think about it. Instead, I think we should universally start using the term "manfriend" or "snookie bookie cuddles pie".
Michelle M. PillowTags: humor relationships comedy nonsense comedy-humor thirties boyfriend manfriend
He could sit in the dust and dark of the carriage house and rot for the rest of his life. Clearly that's what he wished to do. It was not my place to get in the way of so profound a destiny.
Kristin BaileyIf the weight comes from bacon you can so deduct it off the scale total to get your true weight. #science
Michelle M. PillowTags: humor science food diet fiction comedy bacon weight scale
CREONTA: Rope! My rope! Hang those two thieves by the neck until they are dead.
THE ROPE: Alack, but vile and ill-natured female! Upon wherein did thine affections tarry when I didst but lie here and rot for many a year? Nay, but those fellows tooketh care to remove the wetness that didst plagueth me of late and hath laid me upon the cool ground to revel in a state of dryness. Nay, I wouldst not delay them in their noble course for all thine base and bestial howling.
CREONTA: Then, you, dearest donkey, precious beast of burden, tear those two apart and eat their flesh!
DONKEY: Nay, but alas for many a season didst you but keep the food of the tummy from me and my mouth when it was that I required it of you. These fine gentlemen of fortune didst but give me carrots of which to partake which I did most verily and forthsoothe with merriment. I havest decided that thou dost suck most verily and no longer will I layth the smackth down in thine name but will rather let such gentlemen as these go free of themselves.
TRUFFALDINO: [To the audience.] Well, what do you know? Fakespeare!
Tags: humor shakespeare comedy parody the-love-of-three-oranges
Well, what do you know? Fakespeare!
Hillary DePianoTags: shakespeare comedy parody the-love-of-three-oranges commedia
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
Ricky GervaisTags: humor christianity religion atheism humour comedy rationality scepticism skepticisim
Dostoyevsky described hell as perhaps nothing more than a room with a chair in it. This room has several chairs. A young man sits in one.
Bruce RobinsonTags: hell comedy dostoevsky
Nothing kills a party like an oversize metal hedgehog.
Ilona AndrewsThe most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists.
Yahtzee CroshawTags: death comedy apocalypse black-humor
The Dispatcher had played with his phones, calling from one to the other. Then he put them all down and announced that he had them on "hold," a curious expression since it was the first time in half an hour he hadn't been holding one.
Robert Lynn AsprinTags: comedy
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