The Brit's face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It's a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that looks like a rat's been gnawing on it. His beard looks like a white sneeze. The teeth are jagged and out of alignment, having opened quarts at Jiffy Quick Lube for half a decade.

Brett Tate

Tags: humor sex humour funny memoir comedy

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Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.

Jean Racine

Tags: life thinking tragedy emotions comedy feeling

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One does not have humor. It has you.

Larry Gelbart

Tags: humor comedy

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It could be worse... It could be raining

Marty Feldman

Tags: comedy

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VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!

Jonathan Larson

Tags: comedy drama theatre musical

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... Corellian curses being a synergistic blend of vulgarity, obscenity, and outright blasphemy that were the only things really worth saying when one was in the middle of being blown to monatomic dust.

Matthew Woodring Stover

Tags: comedy star-wars

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I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her.

Jon Stewart

Tags: comedy political

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You gonna do somethin'? Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?

Kevin Jarre

Tags: man comedy

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Who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.

Leslie Nielsen

Tags: humor funny comedy locksmith

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I was just thinking... isn't it lucky that we decided to become co-editors? If one takes a blow to the head, the other can fill in. If the other's lung spontaneoulsy collapses, the one can fill in. It's a perfect system once you think about it."
~Will Landsman

Gabrielle Zevin

Tags: comedy collapse head memoirs-of-a-teenage-amnesiac spontaneous

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