I find now, swallowing one teaspoon
of pain, that it drops downward
to the past where it mixes
with last year’s cupful
and downward into a decade’s quart
and downward into a lifetime’s ocean.
I alternate treading water
and deadman’s float.
Tags: depression
Es gibt Tage, wo das Leben übertrieben flau ist. Zu Bett gehen; weiter hilft nichts mehr.
Heinrich MannTags: life sadness depression
...trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back. A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn't going to work.
Allie Hyperbole and a HalfTags: humor psychology depression mood blog
I’d felt this before, when my granddad was in the hospital before he died. We all camped out in the waiting room, eating our meals together, most of us sleeping in the chairs every night. Family from far-flung places would arrive at odd hours and we’d all stand and stretch, hug, get reacquainted, and pass the babies around.
A faint, pale stream of beauty and joy flowed through the heavy sludge of fear and grief. It was kind of like those puddles of oil you see in parking lots that look ugly until the sun hits them and you see rainbows pulling together in the middle of the mess.
And wasn’t that just how life usually felt—a confusing swirl of ugly and rainbow?
Tags: love family sadness death loneliness joy dating grief illness depression teens high-school ya rainbow hospitals young-adult-fiction orphanage teen-fiction long-distance-relationships wyoming glass-girl laura-anderson-kurk perfect-glass nicaragua
But if I didn't know Kate, then maybe I didn't know myself-and if was that not-knowing that made my gut clench. Like losing your balance, that whoosh of almost falling, before pulling yourself back in line.
Lauren MyracleTags: fear depression relationship
Chronic trauma (according to the meaning I propose) that occurs early in life has profound effects on personality development and can lead to the development of dissociative identity disorder (DID), other dissociative disorders, personality disorders, psychotic thinking, and a host of symptoms such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and substance abuse. In my view, DID is simply an extreme version of the dissociative structure of the psyche that characterizes us all.
Elizabeth F. HowellTags: psychology depression development anxiety mental-health dissociation schizophrenia child-abuse trauma eating-disorders psychosis dissociative-identity-disorder traumatic mpd dissociative chronic-trauma personality-disorders
Dissociation, in a general sense, refers to a rigid separation of parts of experiences, including somatic experiences, consciousness, affects, perception, identity, and memory. When there is a structural dissociation, each of the dissociated self-states has at least a rudimentary sense of "I" (Van der Hart et al., 2004). In my view, all of the environmentally based "psychopathology" or problems in living can be seen through this lens.
Elizabeth F. HowellTags: perception identity childhood psychology memory depression personality dissociation child-abuse trauma multiple-personality-disorder parts mpd dissociative alters
After a while, it all started to fade. No more pain, no more unwanted thoughts and no sound. Just darkness. I welcomed it. I was done.
Ani SanTags: life pain darkness depression heartbroken
Just as verbally and physically abused children internalize blame, so do incest victims. However, in incest, the blame is compounded by the shame. The belief that ‘it’s all my fault’ is never more intense than with the incest victim. This belief fosters strong feelings of self-loathing and shame. In addition to having somehow to cope with the actual incest, the victim must now guard against being caught and exposed as a ‘dirty, disgusting’ person
Susan ForwardTags: family parents belief children shame feelings depression healing victim mental-health incest toxic anxious fearful toxic-parents
For I may fall and I may fail but I will stand again each time and you will find no satisfaction.
pleasefindthisTags: life inspiration motivation depression fall fail i-wrote-this-for-you pleasefindthis
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