I finally figured out the big, elusive secret to weight loss. Don't eat! Who knew?
Richelle E. GoodrichTags: humor food diet weight-loss richelle richelle-goodrich
I'm going on a diet. (Crud, I know)
I am going to be cranky.
I am going to be irritable.
I am going to be moody and sad and mean.
And, yes, I am going to be hungry.
Please don't feed me, even if I try to bite you.
Please don't tease me, I may hurt you.
Please don't try to encourage me, I may growl and snap at you.
Please don't help me, I may blame you for everything aggravating in the known universe.
Please don't be offended by my scowl, I cannot smile.
But most importantly, please keep your distance until this trial is over to prevent any unnecessary casualties.
Thank you for your understanding.
Tags: humor food diet weight-loss richelle richelle-goodrich
It would be like a cleansing diet. The problem was, the only diet I'd ever been on backfired. Once I tried to go an entire month without chocolate. Not one bite. At the end of two weeks, I broke down and binged on more chocolate that I would have eaten in three months. I hoped my chocolate-free diet didn't foreshadow what would happen if I tried to avoid Patch.
Becca FitzpatrickDink, my boy, I'll be a millionaire in ten years. You know what I'm figuring out all this time? I'm going at this scientifically. I'm figuring out the number of fools there are on the top of this globe, classifying 'em, looking out what they want to be fooled on. I'm making an exact science of it."
"Go on," said Dink, amused and perplexed, for he was trying to distinguish the serious and the humorous.
"What's the principle of a patent medicine?—advertise first, then concoct your medicine. All the science of Foolology is: first, find something all the fools love and enjoy, tell them it's wrong, hammer it into them, give them a substitute and sit back, chuckle, and shovel away the ducats. Bread's wrong, coffee's wrong, beer's wrong. Why, Dink, in the next twenty years all the fools will be feeding on substitutes for everything they want; no salt—denatured sugar—anti-tea—oiloline—peanut butter—whale's milk—et cetera, et ceteray, and blessing the name of the fool-master who fooled them.
Tags: diet fools 1912 alternative-health
So why is a third of our world battling obesity and spending huge sums to burn off excess calories, while the other two-thirds yearn to get more of them?
Wess StaffordTags: wealth diet poverty hunger obesity calories excercise two-thirds-world
...I gotta burn these scales... sigh*
Hiroko SakaiTags: diet funny humorous weight scale
A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else ... even the fact that I'm on a diet.
Barbara BrookeYou have a choice. You can continue eating the foods manufacturers want you to buy that are making you unhealthy. Or you can return to eating the foods God provided for you, already magnificently packaged in their own skins, rinds, pods and shells. Foods that contain all the human-appropriate vitamins and minerals you need, and the right proportion of sugar, fat, salt and calories. Will you listen to God, or will you continue listening to the marketing and advertising gurus whose agenda has nothing to do with your health?Cukierkorn, Rabbi Celso; Collins, Susan Ford (2012-10-11). The Miracle Diet: Lose Weight, Gain Health... 10 Diet Skills (p. 103).
Celso CukierkornTags: diet weight-loss nutrition
You must see the change you wish to be in the world.
Robert JonesTags: freedom diet self-help weight-loss
We... Charlotta the Fourth and I... live in defiance of every known law of diet." ~ Miss Lavendar, chap 27
L.M. MontgomeryTags: humor diet l-m-montgomery
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