Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you.”
“Sir?”
“It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”
“Sir?”
“That’s practically zen.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: zen discworld terry-pratchett samuel-vimes sam-vimes feet-of-clay prachett



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Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: discworld rincewind



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Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor time discworld parallel-universe



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I believe in reincarnation,” [Bjorn] said.
I KNOW.
“I tried to live a good life. Does that help?”
THAT’S NOT UP TO ME. Death coughed. OF COURSE... SINCE YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION... YOU’LL BE BJORN AGAIN.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor death discworld puns reincarnation bjorn-again



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Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor discworld ring



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Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!

Terry Pratchett

Tags: war discworld vetinari vimes jingo



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You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself. [...] Not 'Thou Shalt Not'. Say 'I Will Not'.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: atheism discworld morality-without-religion the-individual



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He sighed and opened the black box and took out his rings and slipped them on. Another box held a set of knives and Klatchian steel, their blades darkened with lamp black. Various cunning and intricate devices were taken from velvet bags and dropped into pockets. A couple of long-bladed throwing tlingas were slipped into their sheaths inside his boots. A thin silk line and folding grapnel were wound around his waist, over the chain-mail shirt. A blowpipe was attached to its leather thong and dropped down the back of his cloak; Teppic picked a slim tin container with an assortment of darts, their tips corked and their stems braille-coded for ease of selection in the dark.

He winced, checked the blade of his rapier and slung the baldric over his right shoulder, to balance the bag of lead slingshot ammunition. As an afterthought he opened his sock drawer and took a pistol crossbow, a flask of oil, a roll of lockpicks and, after some consideration, a punch dagger, a bag of assorted caltrops and a set of brass knuckles.

Teppic picked up his hat and checked it's lining for the coil of cheesewire. He placed it on his head at a jaunty angle, took a last satisfied look at himself in the mirror, turned on his heel and, very slowly, fell over.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor fantasy discworld dungeons-and-dragons assasin



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A camel in distress isn’t a shy creature. It doesn’t hang around in bars, nursing a solitary drink. It doesn’t phone up old friends and sob at them. It doesn’t mope, or write long soulful poems about Life and how dreadful it is when seen from a bedsitter. It doesn’t know what angst is.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor discworld camels



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News is unusual things happening— And usual things happening [...] But news is mainly what someone somewhere doesn't want you to put in the paper— Except that sometimes it isn't [...] News, [...] all depends. But you'll know it when you see it.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: news discworld newspapers



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