it felt increasingly, as I became more whole, that I had made it all up, and that I was a phoney. I had to come to some place of acceptance. If I made it all up, then I am an unspeakably evil person, leading so many wonderful, intelligent people astray. What a scheming mind I must have. I knowledge will be hard too live with. But harder still is the thought that perhaps, just perhaps it is all true; that I really was horribly, ritualistically abused in a satanic setting, over and over again and as a result my mind fragmented. The implications of that are completely overwhelming. It was me, my body, that they did those things to. No, I would rather believe I am an evil and deceitful person. At least the I can change, and say sorry, and live a better life from now on.
Carolyn BramhallTags: memories crime dissociation satanic ritual-abuse multiplicity dissociative-identity-disorder multiple-personality-disorder trauma-experiences trauma-therapy satanic-ritual-abuse sra mpd
It is now recognised that dissociation is a way of forgetting, for a time. The mind siphons off the bad memories into a separate part, and reclaiming those hidden-away memories us a complex process. So, when the memories resurface it does not feel as though they belong to you, it feels alien, more as if someone had told them to you, or you had seen the images in a film.
Carolyn BramhallTags: memories crime dissociation satanic multiplicity dissociative-identity-disorder multiple-personality-disorder trauma-experiences trauma-therapy mpd derealisation
Each alter personality had a common goal and raison d'etre, namely my survival. They didn't all realize that though, and so were at odds with each other much of the time. So I continued to be fragmented and divided.
Carolyn BramhallTags: dissociation multiple-personalities multiplicity dissociative-identity-disorder mpd
It's one thing to have your partner tell you he or she has multiple personalities, and it's another to walk in on your partner and find him or her sitting on the bedroom floor, speaking in a child like voice, having a tea party with stuffed animals.
Tracy AldermanTags: dissociation multiplicity dissociative-identity-disorder trauma-experiences mpd multipple-personality-disorder
Jenny couldn't believe herself a multiple. She was a mother, a nurse, not that screwball who appeared on the screen like some dysfunctional figment of her imagination trying to find a life. Still, she was coming to a realization that accepting who she was would be the jailer's key to liberate her from this cuckoo's nest.
Judy ByingtonTags: dissociation multiplicity dissociative-identity-disorder trauma-experiences mpd multipple-personality-disorder self-stigma
Secret ceremonies in which malevolent men and women cloaked in hooded robes, hiding behind painted faces and chanting demonic incantations while inflicting sadistic wounds on innocent children lying on makeshift alters, or tied to inverted crosses, sounds like the stuff of which B-grade horror movies are made. Some think amoral religious cults only populate the world of Rosemary's Baby, but don't exist in real life.
Or, do they? Ask Jenny Hill.
Tags: secret secrets rape crime dissociation cult satanic trauma ritual-abuse multiplicity sadism human-sacrifice sadistic dissociative-identity-disorder trauma-experiences childhood-abuse satanic-ritual-abuse mpd multipple-personality-disorder
…is methodical abuse, often using indoctrination, aimed at breaking the will of another human being. In a 1989 report, the Ritual Abuse Task Force of the L.A. County Commission for Women defined ritual abuse as: “Ritual Abuse usually involves repeated abuse over an extended period of time. The physical abuse is severe, sometimes including torture and killing. The sexual abuse is usually painful,humiliating, intended as a means of gaining dominance over the victim.The psychological abuse is devastating and involves the use of ritual indoctrination. It includes mind control techniques which convey to the victim a profound terror of the cult members …most victims are in a state of terror, mind control and dissociation” (Pg. 35-36)
Chrystine OksanaTags: fear murder rape killing ritual torture healing indoctrination recovery terror humiliation dissociation cult abuse-of-power trauma victims ritual-abuse sexual-abuse abuse mind-control traumatic-experiences satanic-ritual-abuse psychological-abuse
Ritual abuse diagnosis research – excerpt from a chapter in: Lacter, E.
James Randall NoblittTags: media mental-health dissociation cult schizophrenia trauma ritual-abuse abuse false-memories hospitals mind-control dissociative-identity-disorder trauma-experiences satanic-ritual-abuse mpd
By the time Cheryl Hersha came to the facility, knowledge of multiple personality was so complete that doctors understood how the mind separated into distinct ego states, each unaware of the other. First, the person traumatized had to be both extremely intelligent and under the age of seven, two conditions not yet understood though remaining consistent as factors. The trauma was almost always of a sexual nature… (p52)
Cheryl HershaTags: personalities government-corruption torture dissociation trauma ritual-abuse sexual-abuse abuse multiplicity mind-control childhood-trauma monarch childhood-abuse government-cover-ups mpd human-rights-abuse human-rights-violations mk-ultra mkultra sexual-torture
The government researchers,aware of the information in the professional journals, decided to reverse the process (of healing from hysteric dissociation). They decided to use selective trauma on healthy children to create personalities capable of committing acts desired for national security and defense.” p. 53 – 54
Cheryl HershaTags: government-corruption healing dissociation sexual-abuse abuse multiplicity national-security dissociative-identity-disorder childhood-trauma childhood-abuse government-cover-ups mpd mk-ultra mkultra mutliple-personalities
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