There were probably many factors that kept the relationship going and kept your love alive. There were all his promises. "I promise this will never happen again." You believed him the first time. And the second. As the abuse continued, he became increasingly remorseful, his promises more insistent. You continued to believe him; you wanted to believe him. After all, you loved him.
Then there were all the apologies. He seemed truly sorry. You forgave him. Now, however, when you think back, you realize the apologies were conditional. They blamed you! "I'm sorry, but if only you hadn't..." They always made his abuse somehow your fault. You may have begun to believe this, and you may even remember apologizing to him. You began to believe that if you were careful about what you said or did, you could prevent the abuse from happening again. As the abuse escalated over time, the blaming became more obvious. "I didn't mean to hurt you, but if you just weren't so [stupid, ugly, careless, dumb, etc.], this would never have happened." Time after time you were made to believe that every act of violence or abuse was your fault. Day after day you were made to feel that you were unworthy of him.
Tags: domestic-abuse
He always apologized, and sometimes he would even cry because of the bruises he'd made on her arms or legs or her back. He would say that he hated what he'd done, but in the next breath tell her she'd deserved it. That if she'd been more careful, it wouldn't have happened. That if she'd been paying attention or hadn't been so stupid, he wouldn't have lost his temper.
Nicholas SparksTags: domestic-abuse
I can no longer stay quiet in this world, I have a voice and I feel it reverberate off my internal walls, making its slow climb upward until its melody can be heard all around.
Elin Stebbins WaldalTags: strength healing-the-past domestic-abuse
She serves me a piece of it a few minutes
out of the oven. A little steam rises
from the slits on top. Sugar and spice -
cinnamon - burned into the crust.
But she's wearing these dark glasses
in the kitchen at ten o'clock
in the morning - everything nice -
as she watches me break off
a piece, bring it to my mouth,
and blow on it. My daughter's kitchen,
in winter. I fork the pie in
and tell myself to stay out of it.
She says she loves him. No way
could it be worse.
Tags: love family relationships daughters fathers domestic-abuse domestic-violence
To tell a tale so great as to tear the soul inside out"
Sara Niles, Torn From the Inside Out
Tags: memoir domestic-abuse sara-niles torn-from-the-inside-out
For the Wife Beater's Wife
With blue irises her face is blossomed. Blue
Circling to yellow, circling to brown on her cheeks.
The long bone of her jaw untracked
She hides in our kitchen.
He sleeps it off next door.
Her chicken legs tucked under her
She's frantic with lies, animated
Before the swirling smoke.
On her cigarette she leaves red prints, red
Like a cut on the white cup.
Like a skin she pulls her sweater around her.
She's cold,
She brings the cold in with her.
In our kitchen she hides.
He sleeps it off next door, his great
Belly heaving with booze.
Again and again she tells the story
As if the details ever changed,
As if blows to the face were somehow
Different beating to beating.
We reach for her but can't help.
She retreats into her cold love of him
And looks across the table at us
As if across a sea.
Next door he claws out of sleep.
She says she thinks she'll do something
After all, with her hair tonight.
Tags: poetry violence abuse domestic-abuse domestic domestic-violence
She could just pack up and leave, but she does not visualize what's beyond ahead.
Núria AñóTags: strength pain gender reason woman women freedom identity integrity courage feminism self-determination misogyny hypocrisy self-awareness relationship realism womanhood dignity eye-opening insecurity women-s-rights abuse domestic-abuse women-writers dignity-for-survival domestic-violence gender-inequality double-standard women-s-day leave-home nuria-ano leave-the-past painfully catalan-writer catalan-writers dignity-of-women dv spanish-writer spanish-writers
How I wish, how fervently I ache, to take my mother's hand, kiss her check,tell her I love her, and watch her smile. For me it was not, nor can ever be. But for you, reach out now. Reach out for your mother's hand-the hands of those you love. Say I love you.
Don't wait.
Tags: true-love family romance suffering redemption domestic-abuse
When Bill Burke asked my mother out, she experienced the unluckiest day of her life. Diana (to become my high school sweetheart-and wife) agreeing to go out with me was the luckiest day of my life.
M.J. Burke Sr.Tags: true-love family inspiration romance redemption faithfulness domestic-abuse
My mother's story continues to haunt me, it will until the day I die. My guilt and personal anguish is a good thing. It propelles me to strive to become the man my mother wanted me to be.
M.J. Burke Sr.Tags: inspirational family romance domestic-abuse love-courage
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