The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

Jeff Foxworthy

Tags: humor life drinking cars



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They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.

Stephen Colbert

Tags: drinking



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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

W.C. Fields

Tags: humor belief drinking



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A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

Winston S. Churchill

Tags: attributed-no-source drinking classic-insult drunkenness apocryphal retort



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Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Tags: religion drinking



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In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

Benjamin Franklin

Tags: humor drinking



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When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon.

James Crumley

Tags: first-sentence drinking



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There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.

Bette Davis

Tags: drinking champagne



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I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.

Tom Waits

Tags: drinking alcohol



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Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.

Louis Pasteur

Tags: health drinking alcohol wine bacteria



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