Care to explain?” Ari asked.
“Didn’t you see my signals?”
“Yeah. But they didn’t make sense. Five into one and it’s an intrusion.”
“It’s an illusion! Five of them are an illusion.”
“That’s not the signal for illusion. This is.” Ari demonstrated the proper signal.
“That’s what I did.”
“No, you didn’t. You did a weird twisty thing with your pinky.”
“I had a scimitar at my throat. I’d like to see you try signaling under those conditions.”
-Janco and Ari bickering
Tags: funny argument funny-humor bickering funny-and-random funny-quotes
Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.
Rucy BanTags: witty funny-humor quirky funny-and-random
He done his level best.
Was he a mining on the flat..
He done it with a zest..
Was he a leading of the choir..
He done his level best.
If he'd a reg'lar task to do,
He never took no rest..
Or if 'twas off and on the same..
He done his level best.
If he was preachin' on his beat,
He'd tramp from east to west,
And north to south ..in cold and heat..
He done his level best.
He'd Yank a sinner outen (Hades),
And land him with the blest;
Then snatch a prayer'n waltz in again,
And do his level best.
He'd cuss and sing and howl and pray,
And dance and drink and jest,
He done his level best.
Whate'er this man was sot to do
He done it with a zest;
No matter what his contract was,
He'd do his level best...
Tags: humorous funny-and-random mark-twain-inspirational
I'm so good" I taunt him as i ease back bouncing on my calves like he does, and playfully sticking out my tongue. He totally misses that for hes watching my breast bounce. "real good" he says getting back into position. His eyes have darkened in a way that makes my insides roil with heat, and i decide this moment hes distracted with my girls is better then any.
Katy EvansTags: funny-and-random
Where’s the ice cream?”
“In the oven.
Tags: funny-and-random
Ava, will you watch your fucking mouth?’ he sighs, but there’s relief in his voice. I’m half tempted to tell him to fetch the anti-bacterial solution and spray it in my mouth.
Jodi Ellen MalpasTags: funny-and-random
I Don't care which president is sucking your dick at the moment, I will not be a party to the killing of innocent men!
Brandice Snowden Demon's VeilTags: funny-and-random
« Quote of the day: “Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it but only you can feel it».
Penny ReidTags: funny-and-random
Shut up, idiot,” he growled.
“Oops,” Ian replied, looking uncomfortable. “I feel stupid, now.”
Peter shook his head. “That's the understatement of the year.
Tags: funny-and-random
Leave me alone, or I will shoot,” a woman’s husky voice rang out through the broken window. “I'm not too afraid to blow your ass right back to whatever hell you come from.
Rose WyntersTags: humor funny-and-random feisty-heroine
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