Well," said Clary, after a judicious pause, "I guess you wouldn't have taken advantage of her when she's so grief-stricken and all."
Simon snorted. "If you ever meet the man who could take advantage of Isabelle, you'll have to let me know. I'd like to shake his hand. Or run away from him very fast, I'm not sure which.
Tags: isabelle-lightwood funny-and-random clary-and-simon
Dear Fly,
I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse. You are a fly, so I want to be shit.
Tags: humor love funny-and-random
And they all lived happily ever after (barring death, divorce, arrest for tax fraud, that incident with the pool boy...)
Sarah Rees BrennanTags: funny-and-random
If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great.
Erin DionneTags: funny-and-random
Ish #19 "If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
Regina GriffinTags: humor humorous funny-but-true funny-and-random funny-quotes
Do yourself a favor,' I said. "Forget it. Forget you ever saw me."
"Forget that you tried to kill me too?"
"Yeah. That, too."
"But who are you?"
"Percy-" I started to say. Then the skeletons turned around. "Gotta go!"
"What kind of name is Percy Gotta-go?"
I bolted for the exit.
Tags: percy funny-and-random
Woman. Buckle
Kristen AshleyTags: funny-and-random demanding caveman
Martin was dafter than a syphilitic polecat - where do I get these metaphors from?
Stieg LarssonTags: funny-and-random
Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit.
Rick RiordanTags: sun humour funny destruction survive snake earthquakes funny-and-random riots riordan tornado sadie-kane tsunamis ra floods carter-kane serpent rebellious giant-snake
If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday.
I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun—I’m afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened.
Tags: sun humour funny destruction survive snake earthquakes funny-and-random riots riordan tornado sadie-kane tsunamis ra floods carter-kane serpent rebellious giant-snake
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