Poison." he said, deadpan. "That's an unusual name to give your child. You must love her very much."
She's a treasure." Bram agreed, blithely ignoing the sarcasm.
....
Then went a few dozen feet in silence, until they were out of eaarshor of the gaurd.
She's a treasure." Poison mimicked, and Bram burst out laughing.

Chris Wooding

Tags: funny poison treasure laughing



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Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.

Erica Jong

Tags: truth men woman funny



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You are hard at work madam ," said the man near her.
Yes," Answered Madam Defarge ; " I have a good deal to do."
What do you make, Madam ?"
Many things."
For instance ---"
For instance," returned Madam Defarge , composedly ,
Shrouds."
The man moved a little further away, as soon as he could, feeling it mightily close and oppressive .

Charles Dickens

Tags: humor funny revolution france dickens mob rude shrouds



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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity – another man’s, I mean.

Mark Twain

Tags: funny



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We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

H.L. Mencken

Tags: humor funny respect joke wife smart kids



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If we're mad, we're mad in large numbers, at least larger than yours.

Shannon Hale

Tags: funny



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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Groucho Marx

Tags: funny divorce



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They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

John Green

Tags: funny awesomeness



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Scoot over, man. I don't like you that much."
"Dick. That's not what you said last night."
"Bite me.

Rachel Caine

Tags: funny gay morganville-vampires



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vers libre," (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture.

G.K. Chesterton

Tags: poetry funny free-verse archtecture free-verse-poetry funny-but-true



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