I suppose when you say you slept with him, it was more than just a nap?"

Lillian shot her a withering glance. "Daisy, don’t be a pea wit.

Lisa Kleypas

Tags: romance humour funny historical-romance

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Nothing says awkward like coming in your pants while dry humping.

Jay McLean

Tags: sex funny lol humping

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I said: "All right, talk, but do you mind putting the gun away? My wife doesn't care, but I'm pregnant and I don't want the child to be born with...

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor funny

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Men came in and dragged us apart. It took us five minutes to bring Nora to. She sat up holding her cheek and looked around the room until she saw Morelli, nippers on one wrist, standing between two detectives. Morelli's face was a mess: the coppers had worked him over a little just for the fun of it. Nora glared at me. "You damned fool," she said, "you didn't have to knock me cold. I knew you'd take him, but I wanted to see it."
One of the coppers laughed. "Jesus," he said admiringly, "there's a woman with hair on her chest.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor funny

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Soak blanket in gravy and make a delicious brick wrap. Serve in All Gravy Room at the Mandrake Hotel.

Christoph Fischer

Tags: humor service funny creativity hospitality creative serve gravy brick blanket delicious hotel yummy brick-and-blanket-test brick-and-blanket

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Just look at the fellow, standing there like a bloody Greek god. Do you think she chose him because of his intellect?”
“I graduated from Cambridge,” Christopher said acidly. “Should I have brought my diploma?

Lisa Kleypas

Tags: romance humour funny historical-romance

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Beatrix wished she were a swooning sort of female. It seemed the only appropriate response to the situation.
Unfortunately, no matter how she tried to summon a swoon, her mind remained intractably conscious.

Lisa Kleypas

Tags: romance humour funny historical-romance

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So? I know lots of beautiful women. Nova wanted to chase... I merely obliged her by running.

D.D. Chant

Tags: humour funny book novel broken-city

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Are you really speechless or has the vodka finally impaired your ability to function like a normal human?

Heidi McLaughlin

Tags: humor funny sarcastic

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I mean, I don’t want to pass judgment—I just wish my husband didn’t shoot deer.”
“Oh, Mel, don’t worry. I’ve been hunting with your husband—the deer are completely safe.

Robyn Carr

Tags: romance humour funny contemporary-romance

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