The important question is, what will your wear for a wedding dress, Alexia? You look horrible in white.
Gail CarrigerTags: random funny witty steampunk wedding-dresses
This is the way I want to die. Torn apart by angry fans who want me to play a different song.
Regina SpektorTags: humor death funny fans songwriter
She takes out a piece of paper that looks like the list I gave her months ago. Smiling her Hayley smile, she puts it in my hand.
"These are my reasons."
"You made me a list?"
She nods, smile still glued on her face.
"Gosh darn it, Brody. I love the heck out of you. You should know why too." (...)
There's one thing on the list. And its in big letters, and I bark out my laughter.
You're good in the sack.
"You dork." I toss the paper over my shoulder, and she laughs against my lips.
"Thought that would be the only one you cared about."
I shake my head, wiggling my nose against hers. I still amazes me that she's my girl.
Tags: funny
I need to go get ready to leave. Will you be okay?" I start making my way to the stairs, but Briston practically cries out for me to stop.
"Wait! You're just going to leave? What if, I don't know, what if the vampire gets all blood crazy and kills everyone in the neighborhood?"
"Well then, I'll count myself lucky I wasn't here.
Tags: funny emma briston freaked-out
I' before 'E' except after 'C', and when sounded like 'ay' as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays, and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!
Brian ReganI'd love to be what I have been.
Raheel FarooqTags: self-esteem funny self-awareness character ego personality
You know how some people get sun-kissed, well i got sun bitch slapped
Ryan OliveiraAre you okay?" I (Cassie) call up to him.
"Um. Define okay." (Ben)
"Okay means you're not bleeding to death."
"I'm okay.
Just then Jagger walks in, his hair all ruffled and his body hard and firm. We all stop talking and stare as he runs his hands through his hair in an attempt to straighten it up.
“Take a picture ladies, it lasts longer.” he mutters
Tags: funny picture sexy jagger hotness williow
Suddenly, however, the dastardly department of my personality presented two plans, one of which involved dynamite, mustache wax, some rope, and train tracks . . . which I rejected due to financial investment.
Laurie Notaro« first previous
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