What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone's orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away.

Anne Carson

Tags: humor funny



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Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him?

~ Susan

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Tags: humor funny



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Bücher haben Ehrgefühl. Wenn man sie verleiht, kommen sie nicht mehr zurück.

Theodor Fontane

Tags: funny



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POZZO:
I am blind.
(Silence.)
ESTRAGON:
Perhaps he can see into the future.

Samuel Beckett

Tags: humor pessimism future darkness funny



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We must, we must, we must increase our bust.

Judy Blume

Tags: humor funny mantra



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Venice is beautiful, but like a Bergman movie is beautiful; you can admire it, but you don't really want to live in it.

Elizabeth Gilbert

Tags: funny



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Must a name mean something?" Alice asked doubtfully.

Of course it must," Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh; "my name means the shape I am - and a good handsome shape it is, too. With a name like yours, you might be any shape, almost.

Lewis Carroll

Tags: humor funny meaning alice humpty-dumpty name in-the-looking-glass



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The funny thing about writing is that whether you're doing well or doing it poorly, it looks the exact same. That's actually one of the main ways that writing is different from ballet dancing.

John Green

Tags: writing dancing funny



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My imagination is something of a badass.

D.C. Pierson

Tags: imagination funny



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you're so full of shit, you ought to be a cow manure

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Tags: funny nick good-comeback



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