Get up, you useless lump, get up!

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor harry-potter j-k-rowling



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There are plenty of eyewitness accounts, just because you're so narrow-minded you need to have everything shoved under your nose before you—

J.K. Rowling

Tags: luna-lovegood harry-potter



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Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: stupidity harry-potter analogy ron-weasley draco-malfoy neville-longbottom



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Killing is not so easy as the innocent believe.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: death harry-potter dumbledore killing



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Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic?" said Malfoy. "And he’s supposed to be our teacher!"
Harry and Ron both made furious moves toward Malfoy, but Hermione got there first - SMACK!
She had slapped Malfoy across the face with all the strength she could muster. Malfoy staggered. Harry, Ron, Crabbe, and Goyle stood flabbergasted as Hermione raised her hand again.
"Don’t you dare call Hagrid pathetic you foul—you evil—"
"Hermione!" said Ron weakly and he tried to grab her hand as she swung it back.
"Get off Ron!"
Hermione pulled out her wand. Malfoy stepped backward. Crabbe and Goyle looked at him for instructions, thoroughly bewildered.
"C’mon," Malfoy muttered, and in a moment, all three of them had disappeared into the passageway to the dungeons.
"Hermione!" Ron said again, sounding both stunned and impressed.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: harry-potter hermione-granger ron-weasley bold malfoy



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She should've interviewed Snape," said Harry grimly. "He'd give her the goods on me any day. "Potter has been crossing lines ever since he first arrived at this school...

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor harry-potter snape newspaper rita-skeeter



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Who're you going with, then?" said Ron.
"Angelina," said Fred promptly, without a trace of embarrassment.
"What?" said Ron, taken aback. "You've already asked her?"
"Good point," said Fred. He turned his head and called across the common room, "Oi! Angelina!"
Angelina, who had been chatting with Alicia Spinnet near the fire, looked over at him.
"What?" She called back.
"Want to come to the ball with me?"
Angelina gave Fred a sort of appraising look.
"All right, then," she said, and she turned back to Alicia and carried on chatting with a bit of a grin on her face.
"There you go," said Fred to Harry and Ron, "piece of cake.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor dance harry-potter dating weasley



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What's that?" he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another -"
"It's not," said Harry cheerfully. "It's a letter from my godfather."
"Godfather?" sputtered Uncle Vernon. "You haven't got a godfather!"
"Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. "He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy....

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor harry-potter sirius-black godfather dursley



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Did you see me disarm Hermione, Harry?"
"Only once" said Hermione stung. "I got you loads more then you got me—"
"I did not only get you once, I got you at least three times—"
"Well if you're counting the one where you tripped over your own feet and knocked the wand out of my hand—

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor harry-potter hermione-granger ron-weasley dumbledores-army



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I'm Draco Malfoy, I'm Draco, I'm on your side!"
Draco was on the upper landing, pleading with another masked Death Eater. Harry Stunned the Death Eater as they passed: Malfoy looked around, beaming, for his savior, and Ron punched him from under the cloak. Malfoy fell backward on top of the Death Eater, his mouth bleeding, utterly bemused.
"And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!" Ron yelled.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor harry-potter ron-weasley draco-malfoy



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