It was comparable to getting sick from bad ventilation

Alice Munro

Tags: humor life-and-living



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There's a reason why your toes are forward and your heels backward.
It means, step on your past with your heels and approach your furute with your toes.

Nomthandazo Tsembeni

Tags: humor motivational inspirational



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You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside.

Helen Fielding

Tags: humor life bridget-jones bridget-jones-diary helen-fielding mad-about-the-boy



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He can read your mind without even knowing."
Dee's face went from pale to bright cherry. "Oh God."

"What?"

She smacked her hands over her face. "Well, the whole time we were downstairs, I was picturing him naked.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Tags: humor romance aliens



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No! Put your damn hand on my boob!

Belle Aurora

Tags: humor boobs boob-touching



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My side felt a lot better when Nora called me at noon the next day. "My nice policeman wants to see you," she said. "How do you feel?"
"Terrible. I must've gone to bed sober." I pushed Asta out of the way and got up.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor drinking



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Gilbert put down the magazine he was looking at and politely said he hoped I was recovering from my injury. I said I was.
"I've never been hurt, really hurt," he went on, "that I can remember. I've tried hurting myself, of course, but that's not the same thing. It just made me uncomfortable and irritable and sweat a lot."
"That's pretty much the same thing," I said.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor getting-hurt



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Nora was eating a piece of cold duck with one hand and working on a jig-saw puzzle with the other when I got home.
"I thought you'd gone to live with her," she said. "You used to be a detective: find me a brownish piece shaped something like a snail with a long neck."
"Piece of duck or puzzle?...

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor detective puzzles



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Dorothy wants to talk to you. Don't ask her to eat with us."
When Nora returned from the telephone she had a look in her eye. "Now what's up?" I asked.
"Nothing. Just 'how are you' and all that."
I said: "if you're lying to the old man, God'll punish you.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor



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It was his wife we objected to. Her name was Leda, but he called her Tip. She was very small and her hair, eyes, and skin, though naturally of different shades, were all muddy. She seldom sat- she perched on things - and liked to cock her head a little to one side. Nora had a theory that once when Edge opened an antique grave, Tip ran out of it,...

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor funny



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