The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.
Oscar WildeTags: humor seriousness
Any fool can make a rule
And any fool will mind it.
Tags: humor conformity law rules foolishness authority fool rule
I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing.
Edith KoneckyTags: humor
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason
Jerry SeinfeldTags: humor
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily TomlinTags: humor inspirational funny goals-in-life wish
The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
Scott AdamsLife is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.
Scott AdamsDo you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
Roald DahlSome breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops.
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